The Wilderness of Singleness

Dusty, dirty, unnecessary. These are just a few words used to describe the wilderness. Those of us familiar with the story of the children of Israel wandering in the wilderness for 40 years love to point out how they grumbled and complained, but I would venture to guess few of us have really garnered and applied the lessons to be learned from their story. I will admit I looked down on the children of Israel and thought how could they have been so ungrateful and so quick to forget all the miracles God showed them in the wilderness. “Where is their faith?” I proclaimed. However, if truth be told, I too can quickly develop selective amnesia like my Israelite cousins.

I have always admired the story of Moses however, it was not until I read One in a Million by Priscilla Shirer that story truly came alive and I was able to actually apply it to my life in a very practical way. Priscilla does an outstanding job of highlighting the blessings of the wilderness in ways I’d never heard or even considered before. Now don’t get me wrong, I still don’t choose to live in the wilderness of life but after reading this book I am much more excited about the journey by which the Lord is taking me.

Like many of you, I will admit that this season of singleness is the wilderness of my life and I am ready to cross over into the Promised Land of marriage. But allow me to point out just five key life lessons I gained from reading Priscilla’s book to help you on your journey to your Promised Land.

Note: I am making the assumption that you know the story of the Children of Israel. If however you are not familiar with biblical record of how they escaped from Egypt but wandered in the wilderness for 40 years for what should have been an 11 day journey before entering into the Promised Land, please take time to read Exodus.

Leaving Egypt

Egypt to me represents past relationships. Some I have fled, but there are others where I had to be kicked out. Why would a good Christian girl who says she trusts God stay or desire to stay in a relationship that she knew was not God ordained? I’m so glad you asked. I wish I had some divine answer for you but the simple truth of the matter is I chose to stay because the alternative was being single again.

I reasoned with myself that he isn’t so bad, after all no one is perfect. He’s a nice guy and at least he goes to church. Does this sound like foolishness to you? I sure hope so, but when you’re in the midst of it somehow this logic seems to make sense.

Much like the children of Israel, I had selective amnesia about the relationship just as they had about Egypt. However, the lesson here is that there is a big difference in being free and living free. Although God gives each of us the freedom to choose, we sometimes choose to stay or return to Egypt because the pain of being alone again and the uncertainty of what lies ahead seem too much to bear.

Learning to Crave Manna

We have become so accustomed to the enemy’s delicacies. We enjoy the companionship, being held, the phone calls, etc. even though they don’t fully satisfy. We may not admit it but deep in our heart of hearts we rationalize that something is better than nothing. Being in a relationship feels good, but the new thing God is calling us to (manna) is an acquired taste. It takes some getting use to. It’s pure and simple. It’s solid food for the mature. We have been enjoying the enemy’s choice favorites (insert whatever you keep compromising for) for so long that we mistakenly believe that we need it and manna (what’s best for us) just seems too boring and bland.

But manna, as Priscilla so eloquently points out, represents a clear change of taste. While the enemy works to keep us addicted to past likes, God is relentlessly reshaping us through blessing and correction. God refuses to give us anything that excites our old obsessions. God’s way is simple and pure, while the enemy uses our flesh to attract us away from what’s best for us.

The Mirage

I am sad to report that deliverance from Egypt and learning to crave what’s best for us doesn’t lead directly to the easy life. We have made progress, but God’s goal is to make us more like Him. We will experience Marah moments – where you believe you’ve met the one, but the relationship suddenly comes to an end; but what really counts is how we handle the times between blessings. How quickly do we forget what God has done? Have we allowed bitterness and complaining to become a way of life rather than praise and thanksgiving? This is where discontentment thrives and grows.

Discontentment prevents us from recognizing all the many blessings in your life. It’s a test to determine who we’re really counting on to fulfill us and keep us satisfied. Remember it’s not a desert, it’s a wilderness and God knows how to refresh you there. Don’t become stagnant, but allow your desire to know and experience God keep you pressing forward toward the Promised Land.

The Meeting Place (Sinai)

Sinai is the place where the Israelites got to hear God for themselves rather than through Moses and it just so happened to be the farthest place from the Promised Land (geographically speaking). The stop by this place, their lowest point, was necessary to ensure the blessings of the Promised Land would not blind them to the priority of a relationship with God. Priscilla advises; if you’re at Sinai today – the point in your life that seems to be the complete opposite of blessing and fulfillment, DON’T BE DISCOURAGED.

Being in this place is not accidental. God in his providential wisdom has brought you to this place to serve the distinct purpose of completing the work in your heart so you can learn to enjoy intimacy and fellowship with Him. This experience was required that we may lay down our independence on ourselves and learn to fully depend on God. Our natural tendency is to want to escape the wilderness as quickly as possible but what a tragedy to rush through and miss Him. This is required to become better attuned to God’s desires for us.

One in a Million Living

When we learn to desire God more than marriage we will soon discover the benefits of Promised Land living because it is a natural outflow of a deep love relationship with Him. Stop resisting what God is doing in the wilderness and let go of anything that causes you to pull away from Him. The Israelites personal experience of hearing and seeing God didn’t come until they chose to obey (Exodus 19:8). Don’t prepare to leave the wilderness until a fully committed, fully expectant life with Christ is what you want more than anything else.

Fully committed living will require you to abandon complacency. And don’t doubt for a moment that you will face opposition. You must be bold and courageous, trusting God all the way, despite what it looks like. Don’t allow fear to hinder you (2 Timothy 1:7), you have come too far and God has shown you too much to stop now. But I warn you, this is not for the faint at heart and you will not win any popularity contests. This will be a battle and you may find yourself standing all alone, but know that God is with you. Remember only two of the original two to three million that escaped Egypt entered the Promised Land – that’s one in a million (so it’s not for everyone). This call to obedience is top priority. Your Promised Land is waiting and it’s worth fighting for. Will you be one in a million or will you settle for something less?

Conclusion

So in this wilderness experience, know that God is working to get Egypt (all the past relationships and desires) out of you. The hard truth is that the wilderness is God’s chosen path for us. (Exodus 13:17-18; Deuteronomy 8:2)

The wilderness is God’s way of making us want the only thing that’s really worth having…Him! So though we may be ready to exit the wilderness, the way out is to get the lesson. Many of us keep retaking the same tests over and over again, but until we exhibit that we have learned the lesson a loving God will not bless us with more than we can handle. He will protect us from ourselves and prepare us for our destiny. The wilderness is a test designed to reveal what’s truly in our hearts: trust or doubt. What is this wilderness season of singleness revealing about you?

The wilderness is where we get to know God more intimately and become prepared to embrace the Promised Land life that He stands ready to give us.

I’m ready to be One in a Million, are you?