CSW Book Review:
     When Love's in View

Let me just start by saying I thoroughly enjoyed this book. When Love’s in View: Finding Focus in Dating and Relationships by Dr. Conway and Jada Edwards is not filled with trivial dating tips, but rather shares the story of this couple along with practical biblical advice to help Christian singles prepare for marriage God’s way. They speak specifically to both men and women highlighting what each should do to build a God-honoring relationship.

A married friend of mine heard about the book and suggested I read it.  I purchased the book online and added it to a stack of books I choose from to take with me when I travel. A few months went by and one day I just happened to turn on the radio as Focus on the Family was beginning. They mentioned the guests were Conway and Jada Edwards who would be discussing their book When Love’s in View.

I immediately perked up and begin paying attention as I realized that was the book my friend had suggested I read a few months earlier. I tuned in the second day of the show because Jada mentioned the importance of a spiritual covering several times, which resonated with me because I know how important a spiritual covering can be for Christian single women. It just so happened that two days later I was leaving town and guess what book made it into my bag.

I quickly got all the preliminaries out of the way (you know read the back cover, acknowledgments, forward, etc.). Now I was ready to delve into the book.  Chapter one captured my attention immediately as Conway transparently shared about a previous relationship that left the young lady like many of us; single, confused, hurt…you know all the emotions you feel when a relationship ends.

However, one question he listed towards the end of that chapter compelled me all the more to keep reading. The question was, “How does a man who’s truly in love with God handle this gift called ’woman’ in such a way that protects her heart and refrains from hurting her in the dating process?”

The next few chapters are filled with acronyms used to define male and female roles as well as our need to value a spiritual covering. At a very basic level a spiritual covering is a person(s) who is devoted to Christ and provides a good Christian example in both word and deed. This person(s) will also have your best interest at heart and is concerned for your spiritual growth. Your spiritual covering can be a relative, though it’s not required.  Related or not, every Christian single woman needs one.

As important as I believe a spiritual covering is, it was the next chapter that really grabbed me.  Chapter four (Who’s your comforter?) was so intriguing because it confirmed one of the key messages I hope to convey via this website.  Unfortunately, many singles subconsciously think of marriage as a comforter. As stated in the book, many singles believe marriage will magically bring them the contentment they can truly only find in God. The authors asked, “Why would God bless you with one of His sons or daughters as a mate when He knows that you would use that person as a substitute thirst-quencher?”

They go on to say, “we set ourselves and potential mates up for failure when our lack of contentment forces them to meet needs they are incapable of meeting.” They challenge the reader with a few questions to determine if they may be using the idea of marriage as a way of finding contentment. Remember marriage, nor anything else, can satisfy your thirst for God.

Moving on the next chapter, the authors start off by making a profound point – “Our culture encourages individuals to simply date to marry rather than marry to date." After examining what is required to develop healthy relationships they divulge what’s required to have God’s perspective in order to make wise decisions during the dating process.  One of the key factor’s to having a successful marriage is becoming the right person. Become that which you hope to attract. Additionally, I like the emphasis placed on keen observation BEFORE entering into a relationship.

One thing I particularly like is Conway’s suggestion to revise your dating requirements list so that all the requirements are biblical and would lead to a successful marriage. Wow, what a novel idea! Just about every single woman I know has a list of characteristics that her ideal husband must possess.  Unlike many of my friends I have never actually documented my list, but I could definitely rattle off a few requirements off the top of my head upon demand. However, after reading this book I am now persuaded to scrap that mental list, research successful marriages in the Bible and develop a new list based on a few simple biblical principles.

Another concept I like in this book is the constant reinforcement of the fact that men are to be the initiators in relationships.  Men were designed to lead, but many will not force the issue.  I know from experience that if you start out with confusion regarding your roles in the beginning of a relationship it can be very difficult to correct things later.

Personal experiences are included throughout to further illustrate the impact of their teachings.  But they end the book with both sides of their story, including the goals they've set for their marriage to ensure they continue to grow.  Also, frequently asked questions and a discussion guide are included as well.  The questions (broken out by chapter) would be good to use to lead a book club discussion.

Surprisingly, there is not really one thing that I didn’t like about this book. It was a pretty good book and an easy read that keep my attention throughout.

Unlike most movie previews, I have NOT divulged all the best parts of this book.  I've only provided a brief synopsis so be sure to pick up a copy of this book to learn more about how to develop a truly God-honoring relationship that will help lead to the successful Christian marriage that God intended.

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