The Ex Factor:
Dealing with Missing your Ex-boyfriend

Ok, this single thing is starting to get the best of you! You wonder why everyone else seems to be in a relationship, why no one seems to be interested in you at the moment and is it really God’s plan for you to get married.

Just when you’re feeling like the number one is starting to feel sorry for you; it happens… your ex-boyfriend attempts to sneak back into the picture. He calls, emails, text or sends you a FB message. Now your head is spinning remembering all the good times you enjoyed together.

He wasn’t all bad, and besides people change…

Maybe this is God’s will; you know He does work in mysterious ways...

As a Christian I’m suppose to show compassion...

Isn’t it funny how we justify the things we want? However before you respond to your ex-boyfriend please answer the following questions (and watch this video by Pastor Justin Cox):

• Are you suffering from selective amnesia? (there is a reason, likely more than one, why you broke up)

• Are you emotionally capable of making a sound decision or are simply acting out of loneliness?

• Are you better off with or without him (not do you feel better, but is your Christian walk enhanced by his influence on your life?)

• How would God be glorified by renewing your relationship with your ex-boyfriend?

An honest response to these questions should help you determine how to proceed. However, don’t allow loneliness to cause you to make poor decisions. Learn how to deal with loneliness in more productive ways. Also, be sure you don’t glamorize the past. Sometimes we would just rather be in a relationship than to be alone, but an unhealthy relationship can be even more detrimental.

Often times we will find that previous relationships should just be chocked up to a learning experience. However the reason we struggle with going back and forth is because we haven’t properly filled the void that the relationship previously held in our lives. The best way to fill the void is to develop a thriving relationship with Christ and recognize that no other relationship should ever supersede that relationship in your life.

Depend on God to meet your needs of love and security because He is the only person who will never let you down. Developing a relationship with Christ will also prepare you to develop healthy relationships with others. In due time, He will bring the right individual in your life with whom you can cultivate a healthy relationship.

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” - Matthew 6:33 NLT

So when deciding to respond to your ex-boyfriend, take an honest evaluation of your motives and proceed with prayer. Moving on may be hard to do, but it’s definitely not impossible. Sometimes we try to hold on the very thing God has taken away. But if you let go, your hand will be free to receive all that God is sending your way.

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