Are you living or
just existing in your singleness?

PMS can be tough. No, I'm not talking about the symptoms we typically experience monthly. This PMS is a state we as singles find ourselves in daily - the Pre-Marital State (or better known as singleness).

Some of us are here willingly and some of us are dying to get out of here as soon as possible. No matter where you fall on the spectrum, the fact remains that you're here, so why not enjoy it?

It is possible to enjoy your singleness and it doesn't mean that you must give up your hope to become married. First, know that God is in control of EVERY area of your life...and He knows of your singleness.

Your Season of Singleness

Everything in life happens for a reason and most things last only for a season. The problem is we want to define how long a season should last. We desire to live our lives as if we can skip from 1st grade to 12th grade, as if none of the training gained in grades 2nd through 11th is necessary. We go through phases, or various states of being for a reason. God uses them to grow and develop us.

While it's true most single women desire to be married, very few prepare to be a wife. Use this time to prepare to be the wife God is calling you to be.

So many marriages end in divorce and I believe a major reason is that people rush in to marriage simply because they're tired of being single. They often are in love with the idea of being married but don't want to do what it takes to make a marriage work.

Others are in such a hurry to be married that they will marry just about anyone that comes along then wonder why they are so miserable. You've tried everything else, now try waiting on God.

Waiting is Hard

We live in an instant society. Just about everything is at our fingertips via our computer, phone, iPod, etc. and we expect God to operate in an instant upon our request. Well, God does not operate in time and space and what's more He operates according to His will for our lives (not ours).

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts, says the Lord. And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so My ways are higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts."- Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT

We think just because we believe we're ready for something now (i.e. be done with this singleness thing), that God should recognize that and grant our every wish. I know you're tired of hearing people say things like:

• “when are you going to get married?”
• “aren’t you dating anyone?” or “what happened to______?”
• or my favorite…”I can’t believe you’re not married yet”

But don't allow someone's insensitivity (likely unintentional) to cause you to question God's love for you. God loves you more than you will ever know. What's more, He knows you better than you know yourself. He knows what lies ahead and thus allows you to go through certain challenges to prepare you for the challenges ahead.

Let God be God and go with the flow because you can rest assured He has your best interest at heart. God loves you more than you love yourself and He will always love you better than anyone else ever will.

"But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."- Isaiah 40:31 NLT

Don't Just Wait...Wait on the Lord

Could it be that waiting is so hard because we define it as ‘to stay in place in expectation of something’ rather than ‘to serve’ (as a restaurant waiter does)?

God doesn't want us to just sit around waiting in our singleness, we should be serving. In fact, once we are married we will likely not have the time to serve as much because then marriage and family will become our first ministry priority.

Rather than just waiting to be removed from PMS, we should be serving God by serving others. There is much to be done. The harvest is great, and the laborers are few.

Trust God

Enjoy your singleness, because singleness will not likely last forever. This is not punishment, nor have you been sent to detention, it's just your assigned state for the moment.

Don't just give lip service to the words, if you trust God, really trust Him. The best place in the world to be is in His will. And if it's His will that you are not married right now, why would you want to be anywhere else?

We may not understand it (especially when everybody else seems to be getting married), why we haven't found the one. Just trust God.

As my pastor often says, “you’ve got to trust God even when you can’t trace Him.” So basically, just because you can’t see His hand at work, know that He is working things out for you…and it’s all for your good.

It's All Good

Sometimes it's hard to envision something as good when it seems so bad on the surface. When I start having one of my ‘woe is me’ moments and feeling this way I often think back to the object lesson of baking a cake.

Think about the ingredients required to bake a cake: flour, eggs, sugar, oil, etc.

Individually, they are not at all appealing but once mixed together and baked in an oven, they all combine to make a very tasty dessert.

Similarly, individual events in life may not seem very pleasant either, but together they all work to make up a very blessed life.

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This video is AWESOME and it reminds me of the traps we as singles tend to fall into because we are so tired of waiting to be removed from PMS.    

Just as the temptations illustrated in this video are no match for God, neither are those you face. Stand strong and look to God. Once you place Him first, He will give you the desires of your heart.
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Singleness is not a Curse

Life is all about relationships, but for some reason we tend to make it about the lack of one relationship. You are not incomplete because you are not a part of a couple. You are a whole woman just as you are. So be sure to enjoy all the relationships in your life.

Singleness doesn’t have to be a burden, it’s actually a great opportunity to serve. Enjoy this time just getting to know yourself and God better. Granted, some days that will be easier said than done, but believe me, it is possible.

I'll say this once again, singleness is not a bad thing! In fact, many single women have gone on to live very full, well-balanced lives. Some have even gotten married and started families, which just goes to prove you're not necessarily destined to be single forever.

Don't put your life on hold waiting to be married. Also, don't wait until you're sick and tired of being sick and tired to start enjoying your life. There is no reason why you can enjoy a full life right now.

Be encouraged my sister you’re single, not dead. 

Become a Wife-in-Waiting and Attract the Relationship You Want