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Can Sex and the City help you become a Christian Wife?


no sex and the citySex and the City has been a wildly popular television show that has been proclaimed by many as a phenomenon.  In fact, it was even listed as one of the 100 Best TV Shows of All-TIME by Time magazine.

Now with a second movie based on the series, women continue to flock theaters in droves.

For years people have tried to convince me that I’m missing out on something because I have not seen the show. It’s described as a fascinating show starring four independent, successful women who talk freely about romance, their sexual desires and sexual escapades.

However, there is nothing about this description that is remotely fascinating to me. In fact, it sounds like most other shows on television. What would be fascinating is a show about women who actually maintain high moral standards for themselves and encourage other women to do the same despite the fact that we are bombared by sexual messages at every turn.

What is the driver behind the popularity of Sex and the City? Is it helping women build better relationships or better marriages? Or does it just provide an outlet to fulfill sexual desires? It seems to me that Sex and the City is so popular because it's relatable since we all have sexual desires. It's gives us permission to do what feels good and confirms that we are not alone because everyone else is thinking, feeling and doing this too. However, we are not called to give in to our desires, we are called to tame our flesh and walk after the spirit (Romans 8:1). It's easy to do what feels good, but it takes strength of character to do what is right.

“You say, “I am allowed to do anything” - but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”- but not everything is beneficial.” - I Corinthians 10:23 NLT

So, how can Sex and the City help us as Christian single women become a Christian wife? It can't! Whatever conforms you to this world does not conform you to Christ. Sex and the City includes no examples of how a Christian wife should behave. Watching shows and movies like this only feed sexual desires and temptations that we are called to flee during this season of singleness. What you feed will grow, so choose to feed your spirit and not your flesh.

For those of you who believe these types of entertainment choices have no impact on you, I implore you to reconsider because truly it is not helping you to lead a Christian life. And it's certainly is not teaching you anything about restraint, submission or Godliness. Instead do as the Psalmist said and proclaim “I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar….”(Psalm 101:3) because believing you can do so without the ever-present help of Christ is one sure-fire way to open the door to the enemy.

I have chosen not to watch the show or either of the movies because it has never appealed to me. Not that I am super saint, but because I strive daily to live a life of Christian purity so there are many shows or movies that I choose not to watch or music I choose not to listen to in order to guard the gates to my soul.

Sex and the City has become a socially acceptable phenomenon, but as Christian single women, our mantra should be “no sex in the city.” Men will only do what we allow. In fact most men will respect you more if you do not compromise in this area.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” - Romans 12:2 NLT

If you’re like me you sometimes struggle with married people telling you to say no to sex because they do not have to deprive themselves of anything. However Lindsey Isham, the author of No Sex in the City provides an honestly refreshing look at lust and feelings of horniness from the perspective of a 30 year old virgin. She candidly shares how despite the fact that she’s a virgin, she too is horny and wants sex. In fact she proclaims she needs it! I think you will agree that is not a statement you hear from a Christian single every day.

This is not your typical book filled with Christianese like “just say no to sex”, it is an honest look at the struggles Christian singles face and also includes a plan to help you walk this out daily.

Sexual purity is a must, but just hearing we ought to say no to sex can be frustrating. Besides sex in and of itself is not bad (God created sex), however sex outside of marriage is not Godly. As Christians we are called to be like Christ and live a life that is pleasing to Him. Saying no to premarital sex may not be easy, but it is possible! God will never ask you to do anything He does not also empower you to do.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” - Philippians 4:13 NKJV

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