No Compromise

There is an ongoing debate as to whether or not men and women can just be friends. I tend to believe it is difficult for men and women to be friends because inevitably one usually wants to be more than friends even if it’s never expressed. My point of view was once again proven to be true after a recent conversation with a “friend.”

We typically went out together with a group, though we did talk on the phone fairly often. Recently, my friend informed me that he was interested in being more than friends. Now I enjoy our friendship but this was a bit of a shock to me because we have different beliefs and I’ve always said that I would only consider dating someone who was a Christian.

I enjoy sharing my faith with him and even debating why faith alone in Christ alone is the truth we must all place our faith in. However, this fundamental difference did not seem to be a problem for him. In fact he mentioned one of the things he likes about me is how passionate I am about my faith. He then stated as long as there is love we should be able to work everything else out.

While this may sound like a compliment from a nice man who is willing to compromise, I was not at all impressed or flattered. I desired to better understand his rationale so I continued with this conversation only to become further convinced that what you believe about Christ is critical to building a solid foundation for a Christian marriage. 

For one, he mentioned several times that he believes I would eventually see the truth and convert to his faith. He then stated he believed we should just practice both faiths and allow our future children to choose what they wanted to believe when they got older. Wow, what a way to begin a relationship, let alone a marriage!

I enjoy his company but absolutely nothing will make me compromise my faith, even to be in a relationship with a nice guy. Yes, I want to be married but one of my roles as a wife will be to be a help meet. Since he believes he is called to share his faith I explained that I couldn’t help him share his version of the gospel because I don’t believe it to be truth. Also, I explained that I have no desire to raise children in a home where God’s word is not revered, lived out and taught. However despite of all this my dear friend still couldn’t understand why we can’t be more than friends.

Here’s the bottom line ladies, the enemy will place many options (distractions) before you that may seem good, but we cannot compromise. Yes, he’s a great guy but dating and ultimately marriage is not a mission field. How miserable would we be if our sole intent going into a relationship is to try to change each other?

First of all I have no power to change or convert anyone, only the Holy Spirit can and until He claims hold of his heart and lead him in the way of righteousness the only thing we can be is friends.

I’m sure some will say I’m being too picky and passing up on a good opportunity to be in a relationship but I don’t see it that way at all. In fact my friend even told me that I was still single because I was too rigid and not flexible enough to let love in. And just as I assured him I will tell anyone else who disagrees, you are indeed entitled to your own opinion. However I believe God in all His infinite wisdom gave us the power to choose and I choose to obey His word and not be unequally yoked to an unbeliever.

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” – 2 Corinthians 6:14

I would have likely failed this test a few years ago, but thanks be to God that I am now strong enough and wise enough to wait on God and not settle for just a man that has not first and foremost committed his life to Christ before he attempts to commit to me.

I could choose to settle for the world’s standards and take my chances that it could somehow workout. However, when has knowing God’s word and choosing to disobey it ever worked out for good? When has doubting God can just as easily bring one of His sons into my life to be my husband become a far gone conclusion?

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” – John 14:15

Yes, waiting on God may not always be easy and we may be tempted to stray along the way but I am convinced that God is absolutely, unequivocally, without a doubt worth waiting for.

Your Christian faith is foundational to all relationships in your life, don’t compromise your faith for companionship or you just may find yourself sleeping with the enemy. And while I can’t speak from experience, I can only imagine that has to be far worse that being single.

Rest assured God is faithful so there is absolutely no need to compromise.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” – Hebrews 10:23

Why I'm Willing to Wait

Declare it your way with custom gear & gifts!

Discover wholeness in single life while preparing to be a wife!