Marriage Myths and Misconceptions

You have a 100% chance of having a successful marriage. Really?!?! That was my initial thought when I first heard Jimmy Evans make this statement. While that sounds intriguing, I was certainly puzzled by this claim especially considering the number of troubled marriages and divorces out there. I have long found Jimmy Evans’ teachings to be pretty sound so I endeavored to see where this was going.

He went on to explain that relationships only work when you work on them. Even if you marry your perfect soul mate, your marriage will still require work. The primary reason for this is that people have needs. If you marry a normal person, they will need you every day.

It is the dream of most people’s heart to have a stable marriage. However people seem to fall in and out of love for a very simple reason, they stop working at it. You fall in love because you work at it by doing all the things to please the other person and to spend time with them, etc. Conversely, you fall out of love because you stop working at it.

To further prove his premise, Jimmy provided the following overview and corresponding explanation of four common misconceptions about love and marriage.

1. If we marry the right person, the emotions will happen effortlessly. He called this the “happily ever after” fantasy. Reiterating once again that ongoing work is required to make any relationship work. People have evolving needs every day, not just in the beginning of a relationship.

2. If my emotions changed toward my spouse then I must have married the wrong person. An eye-opening truth he shared to dispel this myth is simply that if this is true, then what’s wrong with Jesus? He is perfect and He chose us, yet we don’t always passionately love and serve Him.

3. Positive events can fuel a marriage long-term. He explains that love is the most perishable commodity on earth. We can’t exhibit love once and expect it to have a lasting effect day in and day out. Much like the manna that rained down daily in the wilderness, what matters most can’t be stored up it must be given daily.

4. If we fall out of love, there is no way to get the love back. The enemy likes to give us a snapshot of our lives and try to convince us that it can’t get any better than this to break our hearts. But all things are possible with God. We are commanded to remember how you were, repent and return (Rev 3:2-3). It is possible to do what it takes to fall back in love with your spouse. Do what you did in the beginning.

Love and marriage will require work, so don’t unrealistically go in to marriage believing that it’s time to relax. Debunk your preconceived marriage myths because the real work begins after your wedding day.

I found this teaching, like all his other teachings, to be practical and insightful. To learn more from Jimmy and Karen Evans, be sure to check out their ministry (Marriage Today).

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