Five Lessons from the State of the Christian Single Singles Conference

First of all, I am pleased to say this was a singles conference for Christian single adults. Thankfully it was not a day filled with trivial banter, but rather solid teaching from the Word of God to address multiple aspects of a Christian single’s life. 

In fact, the majority of the teaching from this conference centered on strengthening your most importance relationship, not just finding a relationship.

While I enjoyed the overall conference, there were five key takeaways that I’d like to share with you.

1. God Does Not Owe You Anything

Using Luke 15 as his text, Pastor Conway Edwards shared how we as church people are reminiscent of the older brother in the Prodigal Son parable.

While this parable is most commonly paralleled to the way our Heavenly Father welcomes us when we return back to Him after our own riotous living, Pastor Edwards highlighted that we as Christians often take the attitude of the older brother by getting upset when God chooses to bless others who we feel may not be as deserving.

A few indicators you are like the older brother in this parable:

• When crisis happens, you get angry

• When someone else is blessed, you get angry

• When you don’t get what you want, you get mad

We must remember that God is sovereign and owes us nothing. All that we have He gave us and rather than being upset that someone else is blessed we should rejoice because the same God that blesses them can bless us.

This is a departure from conventional wisdom because we tend to believe that if we are good Christians God should ensure our lives our blessed with all of our desires. Although we won’t admit it, we think we deserve or are owed a blessing.

2. Your Heart Must Be Focused on the Father, not the Stuff

Is your heart consumed with presence of the Father or the presents of the Father? As long as things are going well in our lives it is easy to praise God, but when things don’t go our way do you bless or curse God?

As a single woman you desire to be married, but if marriage never comes, will you still love God? We must learn to be content with Jesus and Jesus alone.

No blessing that God provides whether it’s an inanimate object or a person will ever fill the God-shaped hole in our hearts. We shouldn’t look to people or things to do something they were never designed to do.

3. Learn to Prioritize God’s Agenda

We all have dreams and plans for our life, but do your plans compete with God’s plan for your life? Most often, we are lobbying God for our agenda rather than seeking and remaining focused on His agenda. Are you willing to give up your agenda for God’s agenda?

“There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” - Proverbs 14:12 & 16:25 NIV

Jada Edwards talked about how we must give up our agenda and be consumed by God’s agenda. God’s primary agenda for the church is the advancement of the Gospel. Therefore we should be telling God’s story through our lives.

As a Christian you have received the best gift ever, so tell your story. If you are unclear on how to tell your story, learn how with a few simple tips included here.

How much do you ask of God and how much do you do of what God has asked of you?

4. If you can’t be Used by God, You’re Useless

Pastor Robert Madu shared that we are all a mannequin God wants to put on display. With that being the case the question becomes are you attracting or distracting people into the Kingdom of God?

Using Genesis 3:1-9 as his text, he illuminated that even though we try to do our own thing, it’s easy to tell what your heart truly desires. Without saying a word, others can tell what you like by what the enemy offers you. Something is not a temptation for you unless you first have a desire for that thing.

You see whenever something is mocked, we will mistrust its message. This is highlighted by the question posed to Eve, “Did God really say, You must not eat from any tree in the garden?” Don’t allow the enemy to mock what God has spoken to you.

The enemy wants you to forget God’s blessing by focusing on His boundaries. But God doesn’t want us to ask why He tells us to do something, He just wants us to do it.

5. What to Look for in a Spouse

Of course, no singles conference would be complete without some instruction on how to determine what to look for in a spouse. I think Pastor Edwards provided a very clear and concise synopsis by sharing that godliness with contentment is the most important characteristic your potential spouse should possess.

“Godliness with contentment is great gain.”- I Timothy 6:6 NIV

If you are not content as a single, marriage will be unbearable. Remember nothing (including your spouse) can fill the God-shaped hole in your heart.

He added that God tells a man to study two things in the bible: his bible and his wife. Therefore if he’s not studying his bible, he will not study you.

When asked what to do before marriage, the response was simple…fall in love with Jesus and develop a relationship with Him. By doing so, the transition to developing a relationship with another man will be easier.

Nuggets of Wisdom & Advice for Christian Singles:

• Don’t get so comfortable with the world’s view that you forget about God’s Word

• The quality of your friends and the people around you are vitally important so surround yourself with Godly people

• Learn the art of being satisfied with God alone; your savior will bring the person you are to marry but even if He doesn’t you will still be fully satisfied

• Get to know who God is; get to know yourself; become self aware because it will serve you well in marriage; also marriage will not erase it

• Find a way to be content in this season because if you don’t you won’t be content in the next season

For more information on the speakers from this conference, be sure to checkout their websites and resources below:

When Love's in View Finding Focus in Dating and Relationships,
$10.99

Dr. Conway and Jada Edwards

Robert Madu Ministries

Declare it your way with custom gear & gifts!