Learning How Not to be Jealous

I can’t believe she’s married

How did she get a man like that?

I wish I had a husband like that

When thoughts like these cross your mind, it’s a sure sign that jealousy is rearing its ugly head. Jealousy is quite simply when you have animosity towards another individual because of something they have that you don’t. 

The resentment known as jealousy serves no beneficial purpose. While there are a number of reasons why we should not harbor jealousy, let me just share a few reasons why you should try to avoid jealousy at all costs.

• No matter how picture perfect someone else’s life looks you never know what’s going on behind closed doors. I recently read a Relevant magazine article that described one man’s pain of wondering why his marriage had ended though he and his wife appeared to be a happy couple from the cover of a magazine.

  Looks can be deceiving so don’t chase after what looks good. If you seek what only looks good, what will you do when you get it…and discover it’s not at all that you imagined? I don’t want a marriage that looks good; I want a marriage that is good. And most of all, I want what God has for me.

• You never know what they had to go through to get it. We often see what others have achieved and want it for ourselves, but have little to no knowledge of what they had to go through to get it. I know several women who appear to have a happy marriage now, but they tell stories of many sleepless nights due to illnesses, infertility, insecurities, wandering eyes AND wandering husbands, etc.

  Now we look at where they’ve arrived and want to be there, but do you really want to suffer the pain they’ve endured to be where they are (or where they are perceived to be)?

• Jealousy is blasphemy towards God. I never considered this until I heard a message by Pastor Voddie Bauchman who shared the following. “By being jealous you are essentially saying to God that He doesn’t know how to distribute gifts, so what He needs to move aside and allow me to ascend to His throne so that I can give gifts to the one who rightfully deserve them, which is me. That’s what you’re saying to God when you’re jealous.”

“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” - James 4:6

For these reasons and many others, we must learn how not to be jealous. Jealousy alone is bad enough, but what’s worse is that it turns into bitterness and often disobedience towards God. 

We are children of God, but we are not equal with God. He alone wields all power and authority over our lives. His will is what’s best for us. We may not always understand, but He has proven time and time again, He can be trusted.

So rather than being jealous of what others have, what are you doing to get ready to receive what God has for you?

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