Head vs. Heart:
Which will you Trust?

I had a disturbing conversation with one of my friends recently as she described a situation she was trying to help a young woman with. As she was speaking my heart was aching because it’s sad to hear the lengths a woman will go through to get or keep a man who has exhibited he is NOT worth the effort.

I won’t get into all the gory details but at the end of the day we must realize that the goal in life is not just to have a man. Being single does not make you a failure, but settling for an unhealthy relationship just for the sake of not being alone will make you miserable.

Your role is not to pursue a man. If you have to pursue him that is just an indication that he is not interested. If there is one thing we need to realize about men is that they will pursue what they want. It’s their nature to hunt, gather and initiate. Your role and nature is to respond and receive. Even the physical make up of your being reiterates the fact that you were designed to be a receiver.

The problem is so many of us struggle with knowing the reality of the matter, but we become emotionally attached so quickly because of what he says or what we envision could be. However, this usually forces us to make a decision between what our head is telling us vs. what our heart wants.

You are not alone in this, not long ago a relationship with a guy who I was very much attracted to ended. Our initial discussions went well so I was hopeful. Well things progressed wonderfully, he said all the right things and I thought this could potentially have promise. I listened attentively and prayed constantly. My prayer was simply…

“Lord I hear what he’s saying and it sounds good, but you know his heart. Show me if he is really yours because no matter how good he looks and sounds, if he doesn’t belong to you then I don’t want or need him in my life.”

Well within a relatively short time, God answered my prayer and unfortunately this guy proved he was not at all what he portrayed himself to be. My heart wanted to stay because I wanted so desperately for this to work. He seemed so different and I wondered...

• How could he look into my eyes and lie to me so effortlessly?

• How could I have been deceived so easily?

• What lesson am I to learn from this?

I don’t have the answers to all those questions, but my heart has been broken enough times to know I need to recognize no matter what he’s saying his actions speak louder than his words ever could. He showed me who he was and I chose to believe what he showed me, not just what he said. When the two are not aligned there’s a problem.

Bottom line, your heart is deceitful and your head will rationalize just about anything.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly perverse and corrupt and severely, mortally sick! Who can know it [perceive, understand, be acquainted with his own heart and mind]?" - Jeremiah 17:9 Amplified Bible

"Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths." - Proverbs 3:5-6 Amplified Bible

It’s a common issue we all face so what’s the solution, should we follow our head or our heart? Follow the Bible, it’s your guidebook for life.

I know the man that God has for me will be a Christian in both word and deed. Saying you’re a Christian is not enough because every child of God will bear fruit. Look for the fruit their lives are producing. Don’t be so desperate to be in a relationship that you settle for all talk and no fruit.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." - John 15:5 NIV