Top Five Best AND Worst Things About Being Single

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...”  Isn’t it funny how some life experiences can be both rewarding and challenging?  I try hard to view life from a positive perspective.  I’m not always successful, but I try. 

As a single woman it is so easy to focus on the negative aspects of being single, but there is always another side to every story.  I’ve learned for every negative there is a positive, so below is my top five list of the best AND worst things about being single. Hopefully you can relate not only to the worst, but also the best and endeavor to live a joyful life even during your state of singleness.

These are in no particular order, so let’s just start with the obvious. 

     1.       Me Time

The Best thing about ‘me time’ is you can do whatever makes your heart content.  As singles, we have ‘me time’ all the time. I originally didn’t view this as a positive until a few of my married friends pointed it out to me.  We have the freedom to come and go as we please without having to consider the needs and wants of a spouse. We can spend our money as we please, keep our homes as clean as we like without anyone else contributing to the clutter and basically do just about whatever we want (within reason) without recourse.

The Worst thing about 'me time' is you have ‘me time’ all the time. :) Yes, this is truly a catch 22 because the best and worst thing about 'me time' is 'me time'. While all the aforementioned benefits of 'me time' are true, too much of a good thing can sometimes be a drag. It’s true, as singles we long for companionship but many times loneliness is based on our perspective. Often it’s not that we’re alone it’s just that we are not surrounded with the male companionship we crave.  Rather than focusing on what you don’t have try thanking God for all that He has blessed you with.

     Of course the path to marriage begins with dating so let’s go there next. I’m sure we all can agree we have had both good and bad dates, but let’s review the good first.

    2.       Dating

The Best thing about dating is spending time with a guy you’re interested in and whose interested in you. Meeting new people and learning all about their likes and dislikes can be a fun social activity. Getting to know him and allowing him to get to know you can be a bit stressful, but it can also be fun and exciting. Dinner and a movie or a fun game of miniature golf can be a blast when things go wonderfully right. However, things sometimes go…well wonderfully wrong.

The Worst thing about dating is when it doesn’t work out. You know the moment you realize he is not the one. You started by trying to figure out what to wear to make the right impression, remembering to listen and not monopolize the conversation. However at some point it becomes quite evident that you two are not a match. Even worse, you think he’s the one and you never hear from him again. You question what went wrong. “Was it something I said or did? What could I have done differently?” Yeah, dating can be brutal.

Even though some dates don’t work out remember it’s a means to an end. Relax, they are not all suppose to work out; dating is all about determining compatibility so choose wisely.

Next on the list is weddings…

3.       Going to Weddings

The Best thing about going to weddings is witnessing two people make a covenant with God and each other, and begin their life together. It is indeed a joy to witness the beginnings of a Christian marriage. Weddings are beautiful, a bride’s dream come true…the gowns, the flowers and of course her groom. Also, we as singles often get ideas about what bits and pieces we’d like to incorporate into our wedding some day (or what things to exclude).

If your friends are anything like mine, there is often a groomsman or two that would be oh so perfect for you. Truth be told, there is usually at least one person there that piques your interest. And at least you know someone there who knows this person so you can find out a bit more about him.

Ahhh weddings, such a beautiful momentous occasion for all, right?…not always!

The Worst thing about going to weddings is being one of the few single people there. Let’s face it as we get older, more and more of our friends are getting married so there are fewer and fewer singles attending each wedding (or so it seems). As happy as you are for your friend or family member, a room full of couples can be a wee bit depressing even on such a happy occasion as a wedding.

To counter this, bring a date or try to sit with someone who will make you laugh. I will warn you though, this can sometimes be a challenge. Take for example the last wedding I attended, the invitation stated 'one seat has been reserved in your name’ (I wasn’t even allowed to bring a date…how rude!) and to top it off there was assigned seating so I had very little flexibility to change seats. In cases like this, just try to make the best of the situation and remember it’s not your day (also remember not to repeat these things when planning your own wedding).

As if all that’s not enough to cope with, here comes the moment that I don’t think anyone is really waiting for…catching the bouquet…AGAIN! Not to offend anyone, but I don’t even get up from my selected entrée to participate in this fiasco. Being pushed and getting my feet stepped on by the only other few single women there is not my idea of fun. In fact, I think this may be my least favorite part of the wedding (reception).

It has never really set well with me and why some women believe that if they actually catch the bouquet they are destined to get married next is beyond me. I think this tradition really makes us look desperate (and not very classy). Participate if you like so as not to offend anyone, but that just may be a great time to go powder your nose.

4.       Singles Ministry

Ahhh, singles ministry…finally a group of people I can connect with!

The Best thing about singles ministry is connecting with a group of like-
minded Christians who also just happen to be single too. We laugh and have fun, but most importantly we grow spiritually. While it’s true the members of singles ministry are typically dealing with similar struggles and can likely relate to each other, the most beneficial aspect of singles ministry is maturing in your Christian walk.

For the same reason many churches now have varying church services, to reach individuals where they are and help them mature in their walk with Christ, singles ministry should address the spiritual needs of single adults. Singles ministry is usually a good opportunity to grow closer to Christ because you’re discovering so much about yourself and really reaching out to Christ.

It’s bad enough that Singles ministry is often thought of and treated as second-class citizens within the church, but it becomes a real drag when the people within the ministry treat it like social dating club. Yes, I must admit the Worst thing about singles ministry is all the single women clamoring for the few single guys that attend. Granted singles ministry can be a great place to meet other singles, but when it becomes the sole purpose for attendance it defeats the purpose of its existence.

A comedian once joked that Christian men are like parking spaces, all the good ones are already taken or they’re handicapped. True there appears to be fewer Christian men around, but when desperate Christian women chase them relentlessly one of two things is likely to happen. They shy away in fear of being attacked or they take advantage of the situation and begin dating around the church. Neither of which is an ideal outcome.

Last, but not least…

5. Ministry Service

Sacrificial living, isn’t that what the Christian life is all about? It is indeed a pleasure to have the freedom to serve others. For this reason, the Best thing about ministry service is being free to serve. Unlike married Christians, we do not have the commitment of marriage as our first ministry so we often have more free time to serve at church or to dedicate to ministry projects. It’s true we as singles have an opportunity to offer a unique level of service and dedication.

However, the Worst thing about ministry service is the blatant assumption that because you’re single you have nothing else to do. Truly it is a joy to serve, but it is a whole other thing to be used by people. Using your gifts to benefit the Kingdom is the duty of every Christian, but allowing others to burn you out where you become no good to anyone is not God’s plan. Serve freely during your season of singleness, but seek God’s guidance on where you are to serve so you do not succumb to the pressure of pleasing Christians rather than Christ.

So there you have it, my top five list (in no particular order) of the best and worst things about being single. It’s true, we usually want what we don’t have but remember life is all about perspective. So while you’re espousing the cons of single life don’t forget to mention the pros as well. In order to lead a happy life, you must seek to find the positive.

“… for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” - Philippians 4:11 NIV

Yes, you’re still single but you also have the love of Christ so relish in that fact and share it. Try focusing on doing what you’re suppose to do and let God be God because I guarantee He’ll do what He’s suppose to do. Cheer up, the best is yet to come!

Declare it your way with custom gear & gifts!