Encouragement for the Christian Single Woman

For a long time, I tried to figure out why being a committed Christian who refused to settle for anything less than God’s best seemed so unacceptable to just about everyone around me. Some of the comments that have been hurled my way seem that many people (including Christians) would rather I settle for just having a man. Or at the very least they believe I should not have such high standards and hold out for a fully committed Christian man.

This advice (if you want to call it that) is so ridiculous to me because Christians will encourage you to pray and wait on God for just about any other issue you face in life. However when it comes to one of the most important decisions of our lives, we’re often told not to wait on God, but rather just settle.

Well the God I serve is not just the God who heals my body, restores my soul, provides for my needs or forgives me, He is MY EVERYTHING! And in case you’re wondering everything includes my husband that is yet to come.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

Rest assured, I’m here to offer real encouragement to my fellow Christian single sisters. You do not have to settle. God knows exactly where you are and exactly what you need. I will be the first to admit, it may not always be easy, but God never promised us the road would be easy, He promised He would be with us.

“…And lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age. Amen.” – Matthew 28:20 NKJV

“…For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5 NKJV

After much prayer, I am delighted to share the HOPE God has given me in my pre-marital state and I pray that you find it as encouraging as I have.

Highly Thought of by God

I know you often try to figure out why you’re still single as if this could be punishment for something you’ve done in the past. You probably question God’s rationale behind the situation, but have you ever thought about the fact that your singleness could be a reflection of how highly God must think of you?

Remember the story of Job in the Bible? Job had a wonderful life and He was an upstanding Christian by any measure. The Bible even says He was “blameless and upright”. Now by our worldly standards we would believe that Job should have enjoyed a perfect life, but of course the Bible tells us just the opposite.

Job 1:8 tells us that the Lord thought so highly of Job that when Satan came strolling about seeking whom he may devour, the Lord asked, “Have you considered my servant Job?” Now I know it’s easy to just focus on all the negative things that then happened to Job, but let’s look at this from a different perspective. Job was such an admirable Christian that God Himself said “I know he can be trusted to be faithful despite the trials.” (paraphrased)

Does this sound like your life? You are trying to live right, read your Bible, pay your tithes, participate in ministry, aspire to purity, etc. but your friends who are not as committed are the ones getting married. Maybe like Job, God can trust you with the trials (in your case the trials of singleness).

The encouragement for the Christian single woman is the last chapter of Job. Yes, you remember all the hardships Job endured, but don’t forget how the story ends. Chapter 42 begins with a revelation from Job. He plainly states to the Lord, “I had heard of you before, but now I know you for myself.”And when Job prayed for his friends, God restored everything he had lost (or as my grandmother would say, Job received double for his trouble).

TIP

God will restore the years you’ve sown in tears.

My sister rejoice, could it be that God has said, “Have you considered my servant (insert your name here)?” You’re getting to know God and He is preparing you for something great. The best is yet to come!

“The LORD blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the first…” – Job 42:12 NIV

“So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten…” – Joel 2:25 NKJV

Opportunity to Serve

There really is nothing more fulfilling than serving others. In fact, it is the secret to living. Being single, you have a great opportunity to serve God and the best way to serve God is by serving others. Jesus said He did not come to be served, but to serve (Matthew 20:28), so follow Christ, our example and get busy.

Do you ever just sit and look out of the window? Have you ever thought about the fact that both a window and a mirror are both made from glass, but have very different functions? Windows are used to look through so you can see other things, but mirrors are only for looking at yourself.

Guess what, God wants us to be more like a window. If you spent more time looking out for others rather than just looking out for yourself, you’d be happier. Imagine living in a house with all mirrors and no windows. You would not be able to see the sun, trees, clouds, rain, people walking by or anything else. Also, it would be dark because no light could shine through.

The same thing happens when we think only of ourselves. However as Christian single women, we have received the light of Christ and we should let our lights so shine in the world that they may know our Father in heaven. My prayer and encouragement for you, the Christian single woman, is “May your eyes be more like a window that can see the world’s needs around you and less like a mirror that only lets you see yourself.”

As Christians, we are striving to be like Christ. Christ placed others first. He placed our need for a savior ahead His own and came to die for us. We are most like Christ when we serve others.

TIP

Strive to be like Christ!

The encouragement for the Christian single woman is that God has given you a unique opportunity in the form of your singleness to be more like Him. Take advantage of the opportunity to become more like Christ. Click here to discover ways you can serve others.

Pursue Christ Wholeheartedly

How many things in your life do you do half-heartedly? Study your Bible, follow the posted speed limits, eat healthy…I could go on, because the truth of the matter is there are many things in our lives that we are not fully committed to. However, may I suggest that your pursuit of a thriving relationship with Christ should not be one of them.

Your singleness is a perfect opportunity to pursue Christ with your whole heart! You are primed and ready! You have no excuses; nothing is holding you back from getting to know the love of your life better.

Christ is such a gentleman with us. He waits patiently for us to accept His gift of salvation and to spend time with Him. Yet, He has been fully committed to us all along. I once heard a cute story that illustrates this so well. As the story goes, a chicken and a pig endeavored to provide breakfast. However, the difference between the chicken and the pig in this breakfast is considerable. The chicken is involved, but the pig is committed.

Christ has shown you by example of His death and resurrection that He is committed to having a relationship with you. How long will you just remain involved in the process without being fully committed to Him? Pursue Christ with your whole heart and give some focused attention to developing your relationship with Him.

Over the years I learned to ask, “What is the lesson I am to learn in this?” rather than simply ask “Why I am enduring this?” If you learn nothing else during your singleness, than to develop a relationship with Christ and to love Him with your whole heart, then every moment of your singleness would be worth it. If that’s not hope and encouragement for the Christian single woman then I don’t know what is.

Evolve

It’s so easy to become complacent in life. Even if we don’t like where we are sometimes evolving eludes us because we have found a comfort zone. It’s easy to keep doing what we’re doing because it’s familiar, but breaking out into new territory and trying something different can be hard. However, it’s insane to continue doing the same things, and expect different results.

It’s time to die to self and allow God to evolve us into the women He is calling us to be. Yes change is uncomfortable, but know that you will not be moving in your own strength, but in the power of God. The reality of the matter is, the only constant in life is change. We must be willing to grow and evolve.

God has placed each of us here for a purpose and we should be eagerly seeking to not only know, but to be actively engaged in that purpose for our lives. If you do not yet know your purpose, ask God.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” – James 1:5

Don’t become stagnant in your singleness, grow and evolve into the woman of God you are designed and destined to be.

Settle no more for your current state…EVOLVE!
• Evolve in your knowledge of Christ
• Evolve in your knowledge of God’s Word
• Evolve in your knowledge of You

TIP

Think about how highly God must think of you to know that you could handle the difficulties you face.

Just as you have grown physically and are no longer a child, endeavor to grow the spiritual woman within. Evolve…Grow…Become…all that God has planned for you!

“…grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ…” – 2 Peter 3:18 NKJV

Now maybe your life is not working out how you envisioned it but be encouraged my Christian single sister, remember God’s ways are not only different than ours, they are better and higher. Now you have HOPE for the journey.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55: 8-9 NIV

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Helping Christian single women lead whole lives while preparing for marriage.